Thursday, 26 September 2013

Trevor is magical, and everyone loves him.

Hello and welcome once again.
Despite being a bit late, I have managed to push out a comic this week.
I blame the lateness on extensive research into the subject matter.

Yes, like most of the console owning population, I have been playing GTA V.
I am pleased to report that I have been enjoying it muchly.
I played the living crap out of the last one, and I really got into the gritty, semi-realism of it.
Switching to the wild, hollywood style action town of GTA V hasn't required too much of an adjustment.
I did however find it a bit odd that you can roll a car that you're in back onto its wheels with the sheer force of your will.
Seriously, is that weird to anyone else? I find that really weird.
Plus, you can just roll it back and forth if you want, shaking the car to pieces.

Fortunately I'm not in the habit of rolling my cars over, and it is hugely convenient, so I'm willing to overlook the occasional burst of superpowers.
In the end, I guess I am free to play it straight and not roll my car around.
Seems like a waste of a good superpower though.
You know what they say about great power and all.

They say "roll your car about. It looks funny".

Finally able to go and play the game again,
~King Longburns.

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

The furniture is revolting!

Hello again, and welcome.
I hope you are well rested, for today we go fox hunting!
Here, we prefer a more humane version of fox hunting, where we use Nerf guns and we hunt a guy called Mike who's wearing a fox costume. It's much more fun this way.
Except for Mike of course, but he doesn't have any say in the matter.

We had a revolution in the Great Kingdom of Longburnitopia once, but it was quickly stopped when I offered the people money and a wide range of human rights.
People are suckers for rights.

Back in university, I majored in philosophy, and today's comic is based on a conversation that I had in one of my classes.
The topic of the day was The Mind, and my tutor at the time was suggesting that one of the chairs had no mind.
They said that the chair showed no signs of any mind, did not respond to anything, was not acting on any desires etc.

I thought that this was, frankly, rude, as the chair had been made to be completely rigid, and could not act on any impulses, even if it had a mind.
I said that maybe the chair did have a mind, and was standing there wishing it could leave, cursing its makers for its fixed, unmoving body.
The tutor was impressed, and said that I obviously did have a mind.
Personally, I think that was a pretty bold claim.

Anyway, I remembered the chair thing until this very day, and lo, it has birthed a comic.
Who ever said that a philosophy degree wouldn't be of any use to me later in life?
Look at me now, Mum!

Waxing lyrical,
~King Longburns.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

You may have a virus or two.

Welcome again, my honored guest.
Take a seat and enjoy the roast soup-of-the-day. Today it is whole pig.

Some of you may know this already, but as a King, my responsibilities extend to IT support. In this role I have seen many computers, and I have indeed managed to notice a few trends.
The above is entirely true. I think I have seen this rule broken maybe twice, and that's over a period of almost six years now.
I don't mean to be rude about people's computers of course - that's what the Court Jester is for. Most people keep their computers in an entirely acceptable state. Some people are indeed very apologetic about their entirely spotless laptop.

Occasionally, however, I will encounter a computer that could only be described as...     ...unclean.

I have seen laptops covered in a thin but uniform coating of grease. I have seen several sporting more than a few pieces of chocolate. I've also seen what I like to tell myself are beard hairs, but really, were probably pubes.

I'd like to ask people one thing if I may: While you are more than welcome to keep your computer in whatever state you like, if you are going to require someone else to touch it, do please give it a bit of a wipe down first.

Washing his royal hands once again,
~King Longburns.

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Election time. Party time.

Sound the alarm! Batten down the hatches! Someone's been rearranging my webpage!
Oh wait, that was me.
Yes, dear viewer, I have finally gotten around to organizing things for easy(er) viewing. It's a bit of a half-arsed effort at the moment, as I have no idea what I'm doing here, but it's a start. I did this all just before posting, so it's a bit last minute.

Er.. I mean, everything's very professional around here. Move along.

Also, check out the little spaces in between the panels. That's new. That's advanced CGI and cost $20 million.
I think I got ripped off.


So, we're getting all political this week. Well, as political as I'm willing to go with this. Of course, this is due to the fact that we have elections coming up.
What's that? You don't have elections coming up? You should come and live where I do. We have elections coming up.

We also have elections here in the kingdom, but they're just for show obviously. It's kind of a public event.
There's a parade and confetti, and everyone comes out to get a big picture of me stamped on their ballot. It's a lot of fun.
I actually managed to lose one time.
That was a weird couple of years.

Running for the seat of Comfortable Seat,
~King Longburns.

Edit: I changed the title so as not to accidentally offend anyone.