Tuesday, 4 September 2018

Ruining My Childhood: Magician Edition.

Remember Puddle Lane?
Children's TV show from the late 80s?
Neil Innes playing a story-telling magician?

Just me?
No? You in the back? You saw that one?
Good times.

I have also been teaching myself Urban Spaceman on the ukulele, so this past week has been Neil Innes themed.
Look him up. He's a fun guy.

Busy writing more jokes exclusively for people born before 1985,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 20 July 2018

Wing Envy.

I think that bats are embarrassed, and that's why they only come out at night.
Poor bats. They're just trying to make it work as best they can.
That's what convergent evolution is all about.

Evolving my own horrifying wings,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 22 June 2018

Species, Genus. . . Family.

Remember kids, brood parasitism isn't just for Christmas.

Sneaking eggs into other people's baskets,
~King Longburns.

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Sunny Days.

Remember kids, climate change affects everyone.

Absorbing as much carbon-dioxide as I can,
~King Longburns.

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Just Aristocrat Things.

Last weekend, I went to a small class on how to make comics, run by Darren Close, creator of the comic Killeroo.
Today's comic was mostly done before the weekend however, and therefore doesn't benefit from anything I learned.

Except maybe the speech-bubbles.

Buying more speech-bubble mixture,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 27 April 2018

Alternative Movie Scenes: They Live.

Rowdy Roddy Piper got the bubblegum that he always wanted, and everyone lived happily ever after.

The End.

~King Longburns.

Friday, 30 March 2018

A frank and earnest discussion on gun safety.

The other obvious alternative for preventing school shootings is to ban school.
I can't think of any other solutions.

In other news, I think I just named these characters Frank and Ernest.

Living in a country that hasn't had a mass shooting since 1996 when we changed the gun laws in response to a mass shooting, which worked out pretty well for us actually,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 9 February 2018

Pizza Time!

I finally saw The Last Jedi.
Did not expect to see big, milky, walrus boobs.

Two thumbs up. Would be confronted by mammalian features again.

Milking it for all it's worth,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 2 February 2018

Top Shelf.

It's my girlfriend's birthday on the weekend, so this comic is a tribute to her.
Her grandmother once described her as being "tall, like a lumberjack".
She is not.

Happy birthday Emerald,
~King Longburns.

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Laid out on a little green slab of clay.

Hello all. How was your Christmas and New Year?

Mine was good.
This year I had Christmas at my house. I fed 8 people.
Boy are my nipples sore.

I even managed to not kill my Nana with the steps in my house.
I'm going to take that as a win.

My new years resolution was to not have a cat land claws-out on my face at five in the morning.
Unfortunately I broke that resolution the first chance I got.
Now I look like an extra in a cheap gangster film.

Wishing everyone a happy new year,
~King Longburns.