Thursday, 3 November 2011

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

I work in IT support - only mild support mind you - and mostly it consists of helping people and fixing things.
I don't mind this at all. Hell, maybe I even like it.
Sometimes however, there are times when my life would be easier if the computer in front of me spontaneously caught fire and exploded.
A man can dream, can't he?

It would be much easier doing IT support in wild west times.
Hence the following comic.

Honestly, it's only the computers that I have issue with. The people who bring them in are usually nice enough.
The computers on the other hand have an evil intelligence and are out to get you.

And me. Through you.

I apologise for the long hiatus. 
I was unable to update for a bit due to unforeseen circumstances - such as the fact that I've been playing Batman - and I'm planning on taking the next week or so off as well.
I am doing this so that I can dedicate my time to trying to win a life sized statue of Batman off the telly.

It will require all my powers of comics, so wish me luck.

In other news, putting ball-bearings in the royal catapults was a good idea on paper, but didn't work so well in practice.
Seventeen people died.
Frankly, I think we can do better.

Tell the jester that the Royal Guard has standing orders to arrest him and throw him in the dungeon.
That joke was terrible.
~King Longburns.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Keep me away from those Mint Slices.

Hello again,

Short story short, I like biscuits, and I have therefore made a small tribute to their awesome and terrible power.

In Australia we have the king of chocolate biscuits; the Tim-Tam.
These are the biscuits that make us the envy of the western world. One day in the far off future, wars will be waged and thousands will die fighting over the last packet of this wondrous food. This will truly spell the end of the world.

Personally I prefer a Mint Slice or ten.

Speaking of food-that-we-like-to-eat-in-Austrailia, Vegemite.

You people-from-other-countries-who-don't-think-Vegemite-is-nice (about whom I am speaking hypothetically here I guess) don't know what you're talking about. That shit is great.

The common assumption that we in Australia have is that you're just using it wrong. Like you're slapping it on there like peanut butter.
Yuck. No. Don't do that. Just use a little smear. And put some butter on there.
Maybe on some toast.

Yeah.  That's the stuff.

Seriously, we can get two year old kids to eat it, and two year old kids don't like anything so it can't be that bad.

If you're feeling super hard however, you can eat Vegemite like like I do; on a fucking crumpet.
Hell yeah. You'll have so much vitamin-b that your head'll explode.

You have to be tough if you want to have breakfast in Australia.
~King Longburns.

P.S. If you're from a country other than Australia and you're not familiar with any of the foods that I mentioned above, well then that's what Wikipedia is for.
If you are from Australia you can probably ignore the whole post. You already know that Tim-Tams are great, and you're probably eating a Vegemite sandwich right now.

...while wrestling a crocodile.

...on the back of a kangaroo.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Where's Gumby when you need him?

Greetings honored guests,

I have finally hammered out another comic, this time with a Minecraft theme.
That and madness.

Madness I say!!!


I like me a bit of Minecraft, but it's in a bit of a crazy state at the moment what with all the new additions being whipped up in preparation for it's full official release.

Potions and strongholds and swamps. Oh my!

Honestly I have no complaints. Not many of the new additions seem entirely finished, but they do offer a nice little taste of what will soon be possible.
Then, when things settle down again, I will rebuild my castle, make potions, and breed an army of sheep.
Something like that.

Strangely enough, this comic took longer to get out than I had planned mainly because I've been playing too much of a game called Terraria. It's basically like Minecraft but it's 2D and has more fireballs. Also flying eyeballs.
It's pretty much filling the Minecraft void while Minecraft is in a state of flux.
Maybe that's not so strange after all.

In other news I'm having my Royal Subjects erect a statue of me in the courtyard.
It's looking pretty good so far. I think they've really captured my likeness.
One of the peasants got crushed by a big piece of falling marble, but it was only one of the kids and we've got bus-loads of them.
Literally actually.

Yours in confidence,
~King Longburns.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Well, this has to start somewhere.

I have decided to do something with all my free time and ability to draw things by drawing things and putting them all up on the internet, so behold!

I hope to be able to do this regularly so you should check back here later. There may even be something new to see.
I've been thinking that since I play a heaping crap-load of video games, a recurring theme of my comics will probably be "whatever the hell it is I'm playing at the time". Should be fun.

In fact, the next thing I'm planning is a cute little Minecraft themed horror story, because everyone likes Minecraft, and every Minecraft story becomes a horror story at some point.
Usually right about the time the sun goes down for the first time.

Your gracious host,
~King Longburns.