Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Keep me away from those Mint Slices.

Hello again,

Short story short, I like biscuits, and I have therefore made a small tribute to their awesome and terrible power.

In Australia we have the king of chocolate biscuits; the Tim-Tam.
These are the biscuits that make us the envy of the western world. One day in the far off future, wars will be waged and thousands will die fighting over the last packet of this wondrous food. This will truly spell the end of the world.

Personally I prefer a Mint Slice or ten.

Speaking of food-that-we-like-to-eat-in-Austrailia, Vegemite.

You people-from-other-countries-who-don't-think-Vegemite-is-nice (about whom I am speaking hypothetically here I guess) don't know what you're talking about. That shit is great.

The common assumption that we in Australia have is that you're just using it wrong. Like you're slapping it on there like peanut butter.
Yuck. No. Don't do that. Just use a little smear. And put some butter on there.
Maybe on some toast.

Yeah.  That's the stuff.

Seriously, we can get two year old kids to eat it, and two year old kids don't like anything so it can't be that bad.

If you're feeling super hard however, you can eat Vegemite like like I do; on a fucking crumpet.
Hell yeah. You'll have so much vitamin-b that your head'll explode.

You have to be tough if you want to have breakfast in Australia.
~King Longburns.

P.S. If you're from a country other than Australia and you're not familiar with any of the foods that I mentioned above, well then that's what Wikipedia is for.
If you are from Australia you can probably ignore the whole post. You already know that Tim-Tams are great, and you're probably eating a Vegemite sandwich right now.

...while wrestling a crocodile.

...on the back of a kangaroo.